How to Fit Designer Jeans

Blue Jean Shopping – Big Blue Anxiety Bummer.

Not so many years ago, I owned just one or two pair of decent, wearable jeans.  If my poor overworked jeans had a say in the matter, they would have said, “Get more denim or I’ll go on strike.”  Denim is so rebellious.

It’s not as if I didn’t WANT more awesome, comfy, stylish blue jeans.  I just  couldn’t find any that fit right.   The words; pancake butt, freaky crotch and peek-a-boo panties come to mind as I recollect my dungaree dilemma.  In the nuclear glow of fluorescently lit fitting rooms, I’d try on one or two pair before waiving the white flag.  Trying on jeans made me more anxious than trying on swimsuits.

That was then. This is WOW.  A blue jean epiphany has enriched my one- jean wardrobe to a wow-wardrobe of dress blues, denim trousers, skinny jeans, straight legs, and boot legs to boot!  The epiphany came in stages.

Among the realizations was that shopping for jeans requires both mental and physical endurance. I’d try on one or two pair and give up.  Big mistake.  The key is quantity!  Be prepared to bring a dozen pair into the dressing room; many brands, many sizes, many cuts.  It’s not that your body isn’t right for the jean.  The jean is not right for your body!  The perfect fit is out there, but you must have the fortitude to find it!  Wear a cool, breathable shirt shopping—the quest qualifies as an aerobic work out.  Also, bring heels to try on with dressier jeans.

The perfect “initial” fit is slightly tight.  If the jean doesn’t have a bit of stretch/Lycra in the fabric, they’ll stretch too much, too fast.  Within a few hours, you’ll suffer droopy diaper-derrière.   If the jean is 100% cotton, it should fit like a glove, even if you must do a little jig to shimmy into them.   A sales associate can help you judge the fit and perhaps score on your dance move.

Seek out those stores with helpful sales people. When they ask “may I help you,” let them help you.   The associates would much prefer to shuffle sizes and brands over your dressing room door, than stand without purpose on the retail floor.   They may also know great tailors in the area for jeans that need to be taken in or shortened.

From Gap to Neiman Marcus, retail has its insane days.  Avoid primetime jeans shopping like you’d avoid a pig barn in the midst of swine flu outbreak. Visit the store on slow day.  You’ll receive more customer service, and experience less stress amidst the hustle bustle.

Jeans are a neutral. They go with everything.  So go forth,  add to your denim collection and shop anxiety-free.             Save the Xanax for bathing suit shopping…

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